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Ambivalence

June 27, 2019 by Don Kuhl

As I age, I fear I’m getting more wishy-washy. I keep going back and forth on decisions that younger folks make in an instant.

For example, I eat a lot of cheese. I’m particularly fond of aged cheddar – but blue, Swiss, provolone, mozzarella, pepper jack and Parmesan also make up a major part of my food pyramid. The average person ate 11 pounds of cheese per year in the 1970s. Now the average American eats around 35 pounds. I fear I’d be at that average by the 4th of July.

My doctor, my wife and my common sense tell me to cut back on my cheese consumption. But I love cheese, and I’m still here at 73.

I should quit eating so much cheese. I shouldn’t quit eating the food that I love.

I’m feeling ambivalent as I finish my third piece of pizza. I go back and forth, back and forth, in my mind like a yellow (kind of a cheddar cheese color) tennis ball.

The trouble is, cheese consumption isn’t my only wishy-washy aspect of my life. Do I retire or not? Do I floss daily or do I not? Do I get another back surgery or leave my aching back alone?

Okay, from now on I’m going to be more decisive in my decision making.

Or maybe I won’t.

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