My friend, Merritt, thought I should get tested for COVID-19. I could have waved him off, but he’s my doctor, too.
I tell him how good I’ve been with social distancing. I show him my red, rough hands from all my scrubbing. I say I’ve stayed home for the last four weeks. Merritt politely calls me a prevaricator.
Next thing I know, I’m in Merritt’s office and he’s unwrapping these two white pipe cleaner thingies.
“You aren’t sticking those up my nostrils,” I proclaim.
He smiles and goes to work.
This is not a pleasant experience. Either the thingies are too long or my nose is too short. After the first nostril is invaded, I promise Merritt I will never tell another lie.
My pledge makes no difference. Merritt proceeds.
The results of the test came today.
Negative. I’m relieved. I do my new social distancing dance in front of my bathroom mirror.
Thanks, Merritt.