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Second thoughts

December 21, 2021 by Don Kuhl

William Miller has written another great book that helps me figure out where I’ve been and where I might choose to go. It’s titled “On Second Thought: How Ambivalence Shapes Your Life” and describes the ways ambivalence plays a huge part in big and small choices we make.

In our daily lives, we are constantly making choices: I want to. I don’t want to. For little things, we may look at the pros and cons of a situation and make a decision without much thought: I‘ll have my third cup of coffee or I won’t. I’ll play golf on Saturday or I’ll work in the yard. 

Miller’s point is: the more conscious we are of our ambivalence, the wiser choices we will make and the better we will be at knowing what makes us tick (Miller says this better than me, so get his book).

Ambivalence is there in making the big choices that change our lives: Should I get married or not? Do I take the job far away or wait for an offer closer to home?

I came up with three big, life-changing choices I made and how ambivalence played a major role in my decisions.

How would you describe your ambivalence in the biggest choice you have made?

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