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Spider man

October 23, 2023 by Don Kuhl

I’m here to offer you wisdom. For those of you who have spouses or partners to appease, listen to my spider story.

First off, I don’t like spiders, particularly those who hang out in our bedroom. Last week, I saw a big black one descend on an invisible thread and land three feet from our bed. With surprising agility, I crushed it with my bedroom slipper.  

Enter Sherry. She sees the squashed remains and quizzes me on the deadly assault. Next comes the lecture and the orders for the next encounter. Rather than a quick kill, I am to hover over the spider and take its picture on my cell phone and send it to her. She has this app to instantly identify the spider and its capacity to do harm to humans. Sherry will then let me know what plan of action is available to me.

I can just imagine a lethal spider waiting around for its photo shoot before scurrying under my pillow.

Lesson of the day: Immediately after stomping a spider who has invaded your bedroom, clean up the mess to avoid interrogation.

It makes for a better night’s sleep.

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