Looking back on my sports career, only a few minor obstacles kept me from being a famous pro athlete in either basketball or football. I close my eyes and see visions of me being interviewed by ESPN or signing autographs for all the little kids who have dreams of being just like me.
So, what little things kept me from being a super star?
First off, I can’t run very fast. In fact, I’m pretty dang slow. Like, turtle slow.
Second, I can’t jump. At my highest peak, my son could barely slip a phone book between my feet and the asphalt. And I’m not talking about a Chicago phone book, full of the old yellow pages, but the one serving Boone, Iowa.
A third deficiency is my great fear of feeling pain, like being hit hard in football or mixing it up with elbows blazing to capture a rebound in basketball. After all, I’m a sensitive guy.
Those little factors aside, my sports player card, with a piece of Bazooka bubble gum inside, might now be trading for big bucks.
Best of all, I stay humble, as if I’m just another one of the guys.
Extra credit