While the National Institutes of Health spent $465,339 teaching pigeons how to use slot machines, the Hiram Scott College Research Institute was getting no bucks, hanging around public bathrooms for good reasons.
I don’t mean to brag, but I did a scientific study on whether men wash their hands after urinating when they think no one’s around. The results are shocking.
When I’m just hanging around in a public men’s bathroom, nearly 85% of the men wash their hands. However, if I hide out in one of the stalls, less than 30% of the gentlemen wash up after doing their duty.
Maybe the NIH thinks teaching pigeons how to gamble is a big deal, but the HSCRI study has huge ramifications. Where else do people perform differently if they think no one is looking?
Can you financially assist the Hiram Scott College Research Institute as we move forward with these groundbreaking studies? I’m broke. I was picked up for loitering in a public bathroom in Ashby, Nebraska.
The HSCRI does not accept gifts greater than $1.35 so we don’t get swayed by larger donations. Please leave any gifts you can comfortably afford in the blue mailbox on Franktown Road in Washoe Valley, Nevada.

Connie, my big sister