As the rules pertaining to COVID-19 continue, my skill set isn’t improving much.
Specifically, I’m not good at guessing whose face is behind a mask. At the grocery store, some lady will pass by and eye-smile at me, saying, “Hey, Don. How’s it going?”
I immediately look for clues. She’s wearing a green mask. She’s bigger than Sherry. Her brown hair is tied up on top of her head with a big yellow clip. There are Lay’s potato chips, a six-pack of Budweiser and a bag of mini Heath bars in her cart (meaning I might like her).
I want to say, “I give up. Who the heck are you?”
Or, “Let’s go crazy, break the law and de-mask right here behind the watermelons.”
What does cowardly Don actually say? “I’m super. You look great. By the way, do you know where they hide the dill pickles?”