When I get really, really old, I’m going to be smarter and better organized. I’ve already made my list: I will know where my wallet, phone and keys are at all times. I will transfer my list of contacts from my notepad to my cell phone. I will know how to use Uber rather than …
If you don’t think competition is a good thing, do I have a sweet story for you. Back in 1912, the National Biscuit Company in New York City was in a slump. The famous Barnum’s Animals cookies were capturing the market. Then, deep inside the National Biscuit Company’s …
The memory of one loving and courageous lady has lived with me for over 35 years. The story started with Godfrey, an oversized pit bull who lived down the street from me in Cedarburg, Wisconsin, back in 1983. His owner, rarely home, chained Godfrey to the tree in his front …
I’m going to make a mint with my new book. I haven’t started it yet, but I know the market is begging for my wisdom. The name of my book will be: Simple Recipes for Lazy Old Men. I discovered the opportunity after I recently attempted to do my share around the …
There’s a friend of mine who doesn’t talk much. That suits me fine, because I do. Willie is my age, mid-70s, and has endured a challenging stretch of major medical problems. In a group of close friends, Willie rarely shares about his hospital stays, his surgeries and …
When can I earn the right to be called an old guy? That magic age keeps creeping up higher and higher. Back in high school, I thought my parents were pretty darn old. Why else would they be watching “The Lawrence Welk Show”? My mind changed when I approached 40 and …
I’m too old to have this many pairs of pants. I counted them yesterday because my closet seemed to be getting smaller. Not including jeans, I had 19 slacks of various colors, fits and styles. Here are the facts: My slacks came from China, Venezuela, India, Turkey, Pakistan, …
If you are like me, and you are in the last few chapters of a book you are really gobbling up, you have mixed feelings about bringing it to a conclusion. You may glance back at the former chapters, smiling at the characters, entanglements and adventures that caught your …
Belly buttons can be beautiful things. They can also become black holes. Omphaloskepsis was a word coined in the 1920s for personal reflection, or the study of one’s own belly button. I know this guy, Gus, who concentrates too much on the person he thinks he is or the …
All my life, I’ve been known as the unhandy man. My reputation was etched into the memories of friends and family many years ago. It happened when a seldom-used toilet kept running. I inspected the back tank and discovered when I pulled up on the little black bobber, the …